Your BFF is getting married, which, like, mazel. However, she’s decided that hosting her bridal out of the country/ on an island/ seven governments away is the best alternative for some f* cking reason. It’s everyone’s worst nightmare: she’s having a destination wedding.
Destination bridals may seem like an amazing alternative for her and her S.O ., but for you, a betch on a budget, the whole notion of buying airliner tickets( or driving 10+ hours to get somewhere ), paying for a hotel, potentially buying a bridesmaid’s( or expensive guest) dress, and merely generally throwing money into a flaming trash bin for a weekend doesn’t seem like the wisest investment.
If you’re trying to get out of the whole thing, here are a few the resources necessary to tactfully do so 😛 TAGEND
1. Be Honest
Maybe you’re saving up for a house, or an adoption( dog or infant, doesn’t matter ), or already went to seven weddings this year. Don’t feel obligated to over-explain your reasons, but tell your friend that while you love her and will, of course, send a endowment, it just isn’t in your budget to attend a destination wedding. Anyone getting married in a destination that requires travel will( and should) understand that it’s a huge expense for people, so being upfront and honest about budgeting isn’t really something the work requires argue with you about. And, if they do, f* ck em.
2. Tell Them Right Away
Don’t wait until two weeks before to tell the bride you’re not coming. If you receive an invitation to a destination wedding and you know in your nerve that there’s only a 20 percentage luck you’ll attend, then tell the bride that. Waiting until the last minute will get her hopes up that she’ll see you AND she’ll need to add you to seating arrangings, head counts for liquor, etc. Be polite and send your regards.
3. Transmit A Gift
This kind of goes without saying, but if you aren’t scheming on going to the destination marry of the century, send a really nice endowment, either from the happy couple’s registry OR for their stay at the said destination. A couples’ massage, candlelit dinner, or scuba diving escapade could be amazing for the newlyweds. It won’t necessarily make up for you not being there, but it will transmit that you aren’t being a total jerk.
4. Don’t Make Excuses
If the reason you aren’t coming is money, then say it’s money. Don’t be all,” Oh, we aren’t going to your wedding because we’re saving for the purposes of an in-ground pool and also we don’t consider Costa Rica safe because Overlord Trump said so .” Stick to your main( and honest) answer. The second you start throwing out other issues, you make it seem like you wouldn’t come regardless of the situation.
5. Present To Help With Other Festivities
If the bride( or bridegroom) is a close friend and was expecting you to be in the marry, offer to help with other pieces of the whole liaison. For lesson, if the bride was counting on you being a bridesmaid and your crippling student indebtednes simply won’t allow for a trip-up to the Amalfi Coast for the wedding, offer to help with the bridal shower or bachelorette party. Sure, it isn’t the big period, but it’s a kind gesture that says” I still care about and love you as your best friend even though you’re a dope for getting married overseas .”
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