One Of Harvey Weinstein’s First Accusers Paid Off An Accuser Of Her Own Betches

September 17, 2018

Last night, the New York Times violated a horrifying, heartbreaking narrative on Asia Argento, one of the first public accusers of Harvey Weinstein. The report states that Argento paid $380,000 to Jimmy Bennett, relevant actors who accused her of sexually assaulting him in 2013. (* Cue immense ripple of people taking this as a reason to discount the entire #MeToo movement .) Neither Argento nor her representatives have noted at…


You Probably Forgot About Lindsay Lohans Iconic Sex List Betches

September 14, 2018

It’s been a big year for Lindsay Lohan. She opened her beach golf-clubs in Mykonos and Rhodes, and is supposed to be getting a new actuality evidence sometime soon. I’m not sure whether I love her or hate her at this degree, but I’m still fascinated no matter what. For the past few months, she’s basically just been hanging out in Mykonos, posing for portraits with famous people and randos…


Are You The One? Season 7 Premiere Recap % Betches

September 14, 2018

We start off with me realizing that we’re in for a two hour premiere. Who do they think they are? Bachelor in Paradise? WHY GOD, WHY ?! Sidenote: how many hours of reality TV can a person watch in one week before their brain atrophies? Asking for a friend! I’m still trying to wrap my head around who everyone is but I can’t get past Nutsa’s voice, you guys. Projection:…


Mars Is Making Moves: Weekly Horoscopes For September 10-14 Betches

September 13, 2018

Mars is moving into Aquarius, pushing us out of our consolation areas the coming week. There’s no going back to the safety of the past, like that back burner bro who’s good for a nestle and an self-esteem boost. No, this week you set out into unchartered area. New suffers, brand-new highs, brand-new lows, and probably a few new d* cks await. IDK girl, whatever floats your ship. Here are…


Why Guys Ghost But Watch Your Instagram Stories Betches

September 9, 2018

It’s an odd sympathy, when a person who phantom you tries to creep back into their own lives through social media. Perhaps it’s a Facebook friend request, or a “[ GUY YOU USED TO SLEEP WITH] simply added you on Snapchat !” or a mysterious “like” on your latest bikini pic. Your heartbeat picks up accelerate. You’re suddenly very conscious of the exact volume of sweat your armpits are producing.”…


The Best Bachelor In Paradise Recap Youll Ever Read: Week 5, Night 1 Betches

September 5, 2018

I wanted to extend a warm, fuzzy, heartfelt cyber hug to ABC, the third person in my wedlock. Thanks to you, I subjected myself to three hours of lonely singles hunting for love on a Mexican beach while steering crabs and food poisoning. Sounds like spring breach! Here we are at week 5, night 1, which should have counted as week 5, darkness 1 through 4. We open on Angela…


5 Diets That Work (And Aren’t Typical Diets) Betches

August 31, 2018

Here we are again on the eternal quest to lose three pounds and attain the bodies we had where reference is first thought we were fat at age, like, 13. Regrettably, countries around the world of weight loss can be a complicated one, what with pills, flashy commercials, fake report, and Instagram models telling us to chug laxative tea and work out 20 hours per day to reach our dream…


Lindsay Lohan Calls Out LOHAN Staff On IG Betches

August 21, 2018

If you’re anything like me, your Sunday was probably spent brunching, napping off a hangover, and overeating while watching The Office. If you’re anything like Lindsay Lohan, you spend your Sunday threatening your employees’ occupations on social media. What employees, “youre asking”? ICYMI, Lindsay is now the proud proprietor of two nightclubs: the creatively identified LOHAN in Athens and LOHAN Beach House in Rhodes. On Sunday, two LOHAN staff members(…


Where Would Your Favorites From ‘The O.C.’ Be Today? Betches

August 9, 2018

August 5th is the 15 th commemoration of the most important point television present of all time: The O.C . The present premiered 15 years ago, so f* ck, we’re old. So here’s our take on what our favorite degenerates would be up to rn. We did it partly for #content, partially because we want a reboot since those are all the rage, and largely because we want Mischa Barton…


A Breakdown Of The Baby Prostitutes On This Season Of ‘Are You The One’ Betches

August 3, 2018

cast announcementAre You The One: Season of Fate Andrew Couture, 24 $7.50 and a half empty pack of gum that says he’s the douchiest person on this show. Asia Woodley, 22 Brett Ferri, 26 Bria Hamilton, 21 MTV as a “black republican and Trump supporter.” So basically Cam is a robot created in a lab by drunk MTV scientists designed to create mass situations of conflict and carnage. Someone got…


Surprise! America Already Built The Wall

July 28, 2018

The US-Mexico border is many things: a line on a map, a fix for ‘Sicario’ movies, a heinous misdemeanour scene. North America’s most well known margin is so prominent in our thinkers and our hearts, it’s easy to forget it’s also a region the majority of members of us “ve never been”. Do “weve been” understand what it’s like down there, or has it been misrepresented by every anti-immigration “tough…


21 Great Advances Weve Made While Society Seems To Be Going Backwards

July 26, 2018

Cracked pays people to establish smart memes. Inspect the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it. We live in a world where bad news sells. The news cycle is loaded with violence, fear, and depression, and almost nothing else. But, if you dig a little bit, you’ll find that there are good things going on of all the countries. Great things, in fact. This contest was suggested by…


How Global Sporting Events Run On Bribes & Help Dictators

June 27, 2018

Soccer: it’s the athletic the countries of the world calls “football”, despite how loud America yells otherwise. It’s also the global obsession that peaks every four years with a Football world cup. This year’s Cup is about to start in Russia. 2026 ‘s Cup is about to get awarded to the United States and Canada and Mexico, perhaps. And everyone is abuzz about which of the perennial contenders( minus Italy,…


What The Alt-Rights Alt-Internet Means For Your Free Speech

June 13, 2018

The 1st Amendment: it’s America’s most cherished and well-defended constitutional freedom that’s not that gun one. Either path, we’re used to living in a country where free speech has few limits, and only really passes into hassle when it can get people killed. But what happens when that free speech vestibules for white supremacist ideas that have traditionally made violence and extinction? What happens when that lecture comes in the…


How America Gets WWII History Wrong (And Why That Matters)

June 2, 2018

How much do you know offhand about World War II? If you’re an American, you probably been a lot. After all, everything from our education system to our popular culture hammers home the key facts of The War To Intention All Wars For Real This Time. And congratulations: a lot of what you know is factually accurate( e.g. “Hitler was bad” ). A heap of what you know is worth…


5 Unsung Heroes Who Made Your Favorite Movie Fight Scenes

May 26, 2018

Not unlike any devoted trip-up to IKEA, activity movies are chock-full of contends, certain differences being that someone has to choreograph all those epic punches and spin-kicks. And since most of us don’t sit through a film’s credits without the promise of, say, Captain America staggering in front of a green screen to advertise a movie that won’t be out for three years, we’d like to take a moment to…


The Simpsons Freemason Conspiracy & Other Crazy New Theories

May 25, 2018

Look, we’re all trying to make sense out of the world. It’s naturally occurring is striving to connect the dots in the zeitgeist, even if it’s just so we can get some sleep at night. The thing is, “theres” people out there coming up with amazing, insane plots on a daily basis. As a public service, we’ve assembled the most outstanding conspiracies establishing the rounds right now. Whether you choose…


5 Ways Being Rich Was Flat-Out Crazy Hundreds Of Years Ago

May 25, 2018

Sure, being rich has its benefits, but it’s am going to be boring, right? If life’s great signify is derived from striving and solidarity against overwhelming odds, then being rich is playing on easy mode( with the invincibility and infinite ammo cheats on ). Where’s the merriment? Well, we aren’t the first ones to ask that doubt. The historical experiences shows that the old-timey rich, in their struggle to stave…


Somehow, The Flat Earth Movement Is Just Getting Crazier

May 24, 2018

Last weekend, about 200 flat earthers met on what we usurp was the ground floor of a three-star inn in Birmingham for Britain’s first ever Flat Earth Convention( or FLEA Con — please get that trending ). During the conference, these flat-minded people shared their most groundbreaking new theories, depicting again that what they lack in traditional fact-checking, they more than make up for with moxie. ( For aesthetic reasons,…


Kanye West Liking Trump Is The Most Kanye West Thing Ever

May 20, 2018

By this phase, you’re probably recognizing also that Kanye West outed himself as an advocate of Donald Trump. It’s all that anyone in the media can talk about, and like raccoons digging in a trash can, they’re scrambling for anything that’ll allow this story making such a goddamn sense. Because even in a world in which Donald Trump is president of the United States, him being cozied up to by…